The more the change the more they remain the same

Those of you who know me, know that i nice guy and that i care for my friends. But it hurts me when one of my friends keeps making the same mistakes. they keep going back to a person they like even though that person keeps hurting them. I mean i can understand wanting to be with them, but after they have hurt your so much? it kills me to see that, it just so destructive. i was talking to them and i thought of something from my good little catholic boy days:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The strength to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

i'm sure that there is something that everyone can take from that phrase. What do you get from it?

Tim

It's on me

So things are going well, i'm looking forward to starting work tomorrow. I'll just have to adjust to waking up early. Last night went well. My ex and I got together for some pizza and beer. It was a good time. We chatted about anything and everything. A little reality hit me when we were leaving as we went our own ways. But i'm glad we hung out. and i'm looking forward to the next time, and the meals on her next time ;)

Holy Shit i'm going to see Dropkick on St Patrick's Day!!

Oh my god... Mary sent me an email on Thursday with information about how to win the chance to buy tickets to a Dropkick Murphys St. Patrick's Day concert at Harpers Ferry in Allston. You could only get two tickets per entry. So the two of us went in on it. I didn't think we'd win, but god damn we did!

Now to see DKM is great, they have always put on a great show. To see them on St Patrick's day is awesome, their St Patrick day shows are the highlight of Boston every year. But to see them on St Patrick's day, at a special third show, at Harper's Ferry (capacity of 350) is just Fucking Unbelievable! I cannot believe she won them (though the concert is $25 a person, small price to pay)!!. This is going to be one of my fav concerts ever!

Top 5 Concerts (as of 2/23/07):
1. Dropkick Murphys St Patrick's day (well two days before) 2003 - A surprise from my ex, one of the best gifts ever
2. Rolling Rock Town Fair - Latrobe 2000 (My best friend Scott and I got to see Fuel, Filter, Marcy's Playground, Our Lady Peace, Moby, and Red Hot Chili Peppers for $33 each)
3. Counting Crows - Tweeter Center 2004 - This was just a great concert... John Mayer was the head liner but I was there for the Counting Crows
4. Better Than Ezra - Avalon Ballroom 2002 - Another Tim and Scott concert. Cheap concert, fun band, and drunken fun. You cannot beat it.
5. ben folds five - penn state 1999 - A free college concert before I was even in College, good times.

Enjoy the weekend!

ER drawing some striking parallel's to the Kim Family

So I'm watching ER tonight and the main plot-o-the-night is about a family that was traveling on a closed road in a state park during a bad snow storm. They light fires trying to signal for help. The family was found alive after three days minus their son. He left trying to find help.

I'm not sure about anyone else but this hitting a little too close to home. The Kim's were on a closed road during a very bad storm and got caught in it. They also lit their tires and other items on fire trying to signal the rescue teams. And we all know how the story ended tragically with the death of James Kim.

The main difference in this story is the TV ending, everyone survives. The boy was found because the sister was sending him txt message and the teams looking for him where able to triangulated his cell phone signal. Nice happy tech ending.

Now I know that this story happens once every two year or so. A car goes off the road during a storm and is lost for a day or two. But this is way to close to what happened in the days following Thanksgiving of this year. I hope that this is a large coincidence, but i refuse to believe this. Does anyone know when this episode was written?

I don't know... if I lost someone that was close to me very publicly, I would tear me apart to see the story turned into on plot in an hour show.

Now entering the rat race in lane 6.... ME!

Woohoo! I get to join the rat race again on Monday! I got a contracting gig with Northeastern of all places. I'll be that guy sitting behind the desk at the info commons and helping the support team at ResNet. Not exciting but it's a great foot in the door at NEU. It's contract to hire so we'll see how it goes, it'd be nice to get full time and then be able to take classes for free.

I still have an interview with EMC on Tuesday. I'm not sure how I'll tell the ppl at NEU this. But there's no way i'm not going to do it. EMC is a phenomenal company and it would be a full time job. So we'll see how that goes, i'll just be up front with Scott. Hopefully he'll be cool about it.

So sometime when i get some $$ rolling in they'll be a celebration night were my friends and I will get nice and shitty.

But for now I have a Powerbook I need to bring back to life!

Enjoy the weekend

Thanks... but no thanks...

So i heard back from a company that i really wanted to work for and they decided to hire some other nerd. fuck... i'm not dwelling on it though, i have bigger fish to fry. I have three interviews tomorrow and i still have my EMC interview next week. If nothing comes out of these 4 jobs i'm going to be pissed! but i'm marching on. my unemployment has still not been mailed out due to the fact that my old company is contesting it. bah... i feel like i broke even today with the good news and bad news...

tomorrow is another day! unless i'm stuck in this damn day like movie groundhog's day, that would suck...

G-Money!

So in all the drama over the past few days i've totally looked over a very important part of the weekend... the fact that Gerald Green won the fuckin NBA Slam Dunk Contest! He was just amazing and had his best dunk in the second round. Check out the video below, it's all three rounds plus a highlight reel.



He honored Dee Brown, Red, and put on one hellofa show.

Highlight reel time!

People don't know how important it was to the Celtics and their fans to win this. I may start watching the games again this year!

defense mechanism: Off

over the past two months i have had ppl tell me how to feel about the breakup, how they have dealt with their own breakups, what i should and shouldn't do, what i should and shouldn't say, and everything between. these all lead to my defense mechanisms. Everyone has them. I thought i knew my ex's but i don't. heck i thought i didn't have one until today. My defense mechanism was to portray my ex in a bad light. This way i wouldn't remember the good things we had, i'll only remember what was wrong, and this way i can move on quicker. I don't want to do that.

i've edited some post to reflect that i don't want to use the DF as crutch. What we lived the in past 4 years was real, and that is what i want to remember; the good, the bad, and the tears. this may be a stretch for ppl to understand but that's the way i'm making it. i cannot sit here and tell myself that it was all bad because i'll start to believe that it is true and i will have lost 4 years of my life and her.

I'll remember the camping, the trip to NJ DMV, Mt Washington, Bah Harbor Maine, traveling across NY state 3 times in one summer, Jeepie, Jeepie II, Pat Flanagan's, gray sweater, Dennis Leary's hockey Game, the World Series, Dropkick concert, and so much more. Sure there are some bad things that i'll remember too, but those are between me and her.

good night and good luck

RE: it's been a little while

So Mary and I have talked and we both realized that the best thing is for us to be friends, and that sounds great to me. She's a blast to hang out with and she's a hell of a drinking buddy. I could not ask for more from her.

So to continue the follow up, It's hard for me to see my ex. I thought it would be an easy transition but it's hard as hell on me, i know its hard on her too.

i guess the more things change the more they remain the same.

How do I look?

parts of last night was just difficult when think back on it. I remember my ex tell me to tell her that she had lost some weight, she showed how loose her pants where (no pun intended) but when I ask why she didn't mention that I was looking good she did have a reply (guess it's not showing as much as i thought it would, I had lost 15lb since we split (she has lost 10lb)). I was just happy that i was on the second to last hole on my belt.

i wonder if she'll ever let down her guard with me ever again. She did for a little last when we where hunting for a cab and dancing and it felt good.

Walking the Callahan Tunnel

So tonight was full of twist and turns. My friend had her birthday party tonight. I was not sure if i was going to go or not but since i'm now collecting unemployment i decided to go. I then found out my ex was going to be there... I was not sure how i felt about that but after talking to my friends i didn't see a reason to get all worked up about it. When she got there we talked a little and she mingled. Some songs came on and we danced a little and it was going fine.

So the bar closes, my ex gets her coat, and we set out to find a cab for her. She is cold and hugs my arm. It felt good, but once again i had to remind myself that we are not together and it made me sad. we found her a cab and she went on her way.

I know she is going out with someone, and it that hurts a little. I'm obviously not over her but maybe it'll make the recovery smoother if i start to move on a little.

(Side note: If you are going to walk the length of the Callahan Tunnel, wear an old jacket, it is sooo fuckin dirty down there.)

G'night

iTunes Essentials: Boston

Ok, so i'm dicking around itunes today to find some song and albums that i'll download using BitTorrent and i came across the iTunes Essentials section. It's very cool collections of music for everyone. I total copied the 90's Alt Rock list in it's entirety, and I came across their Boston list(ITMS link). It has the usual suspects: Aerosmith, Boston, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The Lemonheads, etc. But there is one glaring omission to their list... The Dropkick Murphys! I mean how can you have a list and not include them.
They own St Paddy's day (and the days before and after) in Boston, they helped the RedSox win the world series with "Tessie", and fuckin a they are from Quincy!

It would be hard to find a band that more popular then The Dropkick Murphys in boston these days. Here's a little lovin from YouTube, not the best video but a damn good song.

When it rains it pours...

So last friday I got some shitty news, I was fired. My boss walked me out of the building at noon. not the best way to end a week. thank god for friends though. Mary took me out drinking at 4:30 when she got out of work and we left the bar (me drunk off my ass) at like 10pm. It was hard on me for the next day, but by sunday i was updating my resume, calling up contacts, and attaching monster.com, careerbuilder.com, and dice.com.

i got some good leads, met with some recruiting agencies, and got a few call ups over the week. the best lead so far was with a company called Bullhorn in southie near the waterfront. i've had two interviews so far and a third that is waiting to be scheduled. it's an awesome company that's growing fast so i'm hoping to hear good news by the beginning of next week.

good luck to me!